


i ignored four google classroom notifications for you, bitch

by Anonymous



Category: Reality Somehow
Genre: Gen, you are so extra i swear to god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:40:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26691583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: "Sometimes, all you had to do was exist to be someone’s saviour." — Keigo Higashino
Relationships: External Choking/Internal Choking
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1
Collections: Anonymous





	i ignored four google classroom notifications for you, bitch

**Author's Note:**

> for my dearest masculine 5 who has a fondness to overdramaticse things, 
> 
> i don't wear gloves in the winter, i plaster my hands on my friend's faces and if they don't nudge me off then we're meant to be.

okay, we get it, you love me.

you are SO extra though, my god. you clearly hang out with too many theatre kids or something. seriously, what was the precursor for this? i had no warning! no time to prepare! i got your extremely threatening message while i was cramming for my exam at three in the morning, so my comprehension skills were both at its peak and in the gutter at the same time.

do you know how jarring it is when you’re cramming at three in the morning and then you get this notification that says: **_gabby i hope you know i hate you even though i love you. i learned ao3 formatting for you, bitch :gun: :sparkling_heart: :kissing_closed_eyes: :sparkles:_ **

congratulations on learning how to embed links in ao3 in 2020. you didn’t send me a link to the actual fic, so i can’t utilize them, but i guess i’m clicking the links in spirit.

i don’t know if i’m supposed to post this to the public, or if i’m going to keep this to myself like introverts playing secret santa, except we’re the only two people participating and actually we know exactly who gave what. that’s actually just gift-giving, isn’t it?

LMAO why is literally everyone in my life so obsessed with possession? i think i missed the memo. i have this friend who’s very obsessed with the concept of spirits encapsulating bodies, kind of like dimple taking over mob’s[¹](https://beif0ngs.tumblr.com/post/182377299525/dimplemob-appreciation-post) body. that’s like the closest thing i can think to actually possessing someone. i think it’s something about power. i’m not really a power hungry type of person, which i think is why i always accidentally attract people like you who want a sense of control.

i watched this video recently where two pornstars[²](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYXe4DcvBhY) who were friends got drunk together, and one of them was really into the other, and the other was into him too, but a bit more hesitant. they were talking about how dating in their industry was a bit tricky. the girl noted that she noticed that people in their industry had a tendency to get possessive and jealous easily. he agreed with her, stating, **_“our cultural ideas about love are possessive, and it all stems from ownership of property.”_** it was like 3am when i heard that and i’m still recovering. kind of like me at your stupid ao3 letter.

so i think this is the part where i’m supposed to compliment you. unfortunately you took one of the best compliments i had that suited you, which was describing you as an angel, because as everyone knows, angels are actually crazy badasses who are capable of murder.

the next best thing i can think of that reminds me of you is probably an accordion folder. and i know you’re scrunching your nose at your computer right now going, _what the actual fuck—_ but i really look up to people who use accordion folders. mostly because I Am Not one of those people. i literally have one folder³ and she’s super thicc and it just contains all the documents for every single one of my classes. i don’t know how i lasted this long either. but i also say you’re an accordion folder because you’re one of those people who has millions of multitudes. and you’ve already heard me gush about all your multitudes so we can skip past that. everyone technically is filled with infinite multitudes, but you seem very familiar with yours, and as someone who only has a two pocket folder for their seven classes, it’s very admirable to watch. you’re just very intricately woven and that’s about as History Gay as this is going to get.

anyways to conclude, you are such a fucking baby. you definitely overreacted. please give me a heads up next time before you pulverize me with your theatre kid tendencies.

anyways love you, bye. 

> **_"don’t just focus on the negatives._ **
> 
> **_it’s all about how you use knives, remember?_ **
> 
> **_don’t suppress yourself._ **
> 
> **_you’re the one who holds the power to maximize your potential._ **
> 
> **_trust me, you’ll be fine."_ **
> 
> **_– Reigen Arataka_ **

**Author's Note:**

> 1.) [you know i had to include it](https://beif0ngs.tumblr.com/post/182377299525/dimplemob-appreciation-post)
> 
> 2.) ["i'm floored. i didn't expect the most profound marxist critique of romance to come from a pornstar, but i guess that makes sense. wow. what a good man."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYXe4DcvBhY)
> 
> 3.) BRO I HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK TO DO BUT INSTEAD I'M WRITING HOMOEROTIC LETTERS ON AO3 WHAT THE HELL


End file.
